Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Hangin' Loose ...

I had just spent two weeks in Spain with my friend Beth, and one day we were on the beach sunbathing, when a woman came striding past topless, I've never been comfortable with going topless, but whoever wants to do it can do it. However this woman was an exception, she was about 70 years old and had boobs that weren’t far off her knees, and too make the situation worse, her 3 grandchildren were with her.

What was she thinking?

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Please Find a Bathroom

One day while waiting in the grocery store parking lot for my husband to come back out to the car, I witnessed the unthinkable. A couple dressed like hippies pulled un in a beat up pick up. From the way they were talking and acting, I surmised they had been drinking and were on a beer run. The beer in the woman's hand might have had somthing to do with this surmise.
A few minutes after the man zigzagged into the store, the woman must have suffered from a full bladder. My children and I watched in horror as the woman opened her door and used it as a shield while she dropped her drawers and began to empty her bladder right there in the parking lot. A stream immediately began to flow into the parking lot and run into a puddle. When she finished, she uttered "ahhh," pulled up her pants, and sat back in the truck, as thought that was the most natural thing to do.

Seriously, what was she thinking?

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Turkey Trouble

At the last place I worked, we decided to have a drawing to give away a Thanksgiving turkey. My boss thought it would be funny to surprise the winner with a real LIVE turkey (instead of the traditional frozen Butterball). So off they went to the turkey farm, where they selected the finest fowl to be found, and drove it back to the company. The winner's name was announced at a company-wide meeting, and a cage was wheeled out with the live turkey in it. The recipient was mortified. Her shock and disapproval instantly spread through the crowd as everyone instantly became an animal rights activist! "You can't kill the turkey," "Save Tom Turkey," the crowd began to chant!

The turkey got scared and started fluttering frantically in the cage. Feathers were flying everywhere. And then the bird relieved itself, spreading it's farm-fresh aroma throughout our company!

The "funny" idea had turned into a total freakin' disaster! Seriously, what were they thinking!